I don't really understand why everyone is so afraid to talk about sex!? Sex is a natural thing for us to do.
So, I want to explore this topic. Why are you afraid to talk about sex?
Is it because your embarrassed? Is it because your ashamed? Scared?
Why is everyone afraid to talk about, or even buy and try sex toys?
Yea, so they may be traditionally taboo, but its not as taboo as you like to think it is. If it was so taboo, there wouldn't be so many sex stores up and running and making loads of money. Theres stores like Fascinations, there is also stores like Adam & Eve, there are small boutique stores, there are party people who throw sex toy parties for people! Think Tupperware party, but with sex toys, lubes, etc.
Lets explore the sex toy aspect. Why are you afraid to speak of sex toys? Well, a lot of people are afraid to talk about sex toys because they were raised to think of them as bad. As morally wrong. As a young person with religious parents, you were probably told that its morally wrong to touch yourself sexually. That it was a sin, and you would go to hell. But, how can you expect someone to please you sexually (even if you wait till you are married) unless you know what you like first!
I once knew someone who had never used a toy, never touched or looked at herself down there. She also has never had an orgasm. *Le Gasp* I know, right! You cannot expect someone else to know what feels good to you, unless you know what feels good first.
You may now be asking, OK, so I will try to think about this... but what do I do?
First things first. If you are a woman (which usually its a woman in this position), you need to get a mirror, and take a look at your girlie parts. I know, it may seem weird, but you need to know what you look like! Feel - not sexually - but exploratory. Get to know yourself. See the link below for a descriptive drawing of the vagina. This will help you.
After you feel like you have explored the unknown territory, and have become familiar with it. Try to engage and stimulate yourself. Are you able to arouse yourself on your own? Do not be embarrassed about what turns you on. Think about your fantasy guy, think about the hot movie actor in that new movie you just saw, if your married, or have a boyfriend, think about the features of him that excite you. Are you able to bring yourself to climax? If so, great! If not, thats OK too! As long as you were able to arouse yourself and get going, then you have made progress!
There are many women who cannot achieve orgasm through intercourse alone, a lot of women need clitoral stimulation as well. For this, I recommend going to your local sex toy store, or going to an online store like Adam & Eve or even my own online toy store and look into getting a small vibrator. Nothing too big or too crazy yet! If your feeling brave, however, go ahead! Be my guest, more power to ya! :-D Just don't be scared! If you go to a store locally, ask someone there to help you out! Tell them that it is your first time buying a toy, and tell them what you want! They can show you would is recommended, and what would be a good choice for you.
If you like - I would love to help you pick something out! Just send me a message at firstname.lastname@example.org and put in the subject "sex question".
Once you have figured out what works best for you, what feels good to you, what you like, you can go ahead and share that with your partner. Know that self love is very much needed for your confidence, and your well being. How can you love someone else, if you cannot love yourself? Thats how I see it anyway!
Ok, Now back to my first question... Why is everyone so afraid to talk about sex?
I want your opinions! Comment, lets have a discussion. Feel free to send me a message if you have a question sex or relationship related, and I will address it on the blog as another post. If you want to remain anonymous you can, no problem!
I look forward to your comments!
I just want to say that I am not a sex professor, sex doctor or anything of the sort. I do not have a degree in the field, but am very interested in the topic, and therefore read a lot about it. I feel that being open and honest sexually is the best freedom there is. No need to be ashamed of it. Be free!!!
Descriptive drawing. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Vulva_anatomy.jpg
Until next time,
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